January 2021 – Facing Into Change

It’s time to change our story

Facing or growing into change at any level begins with reflecting on our perception of ourselves. Because it is only by experiencing the consciousness of change within ourselves that we witness it in others, and with them see what change is possible.

There are a myriad of philosophers and psychologists who have developed theories about how our consciousness and sense of self develops which I will not attempt to summarise. However, there are some constant themes. One is that we are very much a ‘work in progress’ that we have a sense of self that is always in a state of becoming that is always being shaped by how we relate to events and people around us. There is another common perception that we are multiple selves, we talk of our inner self, our outers self, our shadow self, Jekyll and Hyde, and all that. A theory that I am especially drawn to proposes a triple description of ourselves, as actors, as agents, and the author or storyteller of ourselves[i]. I think that the last descriptor of author or storyteller is central because it is our reflexive self, the self that is most active when we contemplate change.

The story of our three selves

The self we are most familiar with is the one that shows up in the world, that performs, as Shakespeare suggested, as if all the world’s a stage, playing the roles we have chosen or have been assigned to us. It is our self as actors displaying the traits which we have acquired by a combination of nature and nurture. It is also called our socialised selves. It is a self that is crafted by the need fit in, to enable us to carry out these roles. There is a whole popular psychology industry out there providing us with descriptors of our presented selves that we like to hear, or maybe fear.

Then there is the idealised self, the self that believes we are the agent of the future, our imagined self. It is the self that is based on hope, on a search for self-esteem, that provides us with an inner compass as we progress through life. So might aspire to be an intellectual an adventurer, a pillar of the community, a Bon viveur, a person to be respected or envied. It is the stuff of our resolutions, that induces us to buy the self-help books or go on retreat.

Thirdly, there is us as author the one that crafts a story of ourselves, an account of our life experience that seeks to explain our character and aspirations. It is an account, to quote the philosopher William James, that I give of me, to myself and others. That story serves to give us a sense of continuity, to help us make meaning of our lives, to integrate our past and present selves with the one we want to be. So, we will tell stories of our upbringing, of turning points in our lives, or incidents in which our dominant traits were on display. It is the story that you are more likely to share with those close to you. It is a story that is central to our well-being.

Why change a good story?

But here is the thing. While such stories mostly give us a sense of stability, there are times when we know we have to change that story. It can be because of a crisis where events and our response to them that challenges our story. That’s not me! It can come from a more gradual sense of unease that our present story is struggling to cope with the complexities of life. I am out of my depth! Or it may come from an inner sense that the story I tell of me no longer rings true. I want to find my real self. In the extreme, it can be a story that is preventing us from living the life we want to live. I am lost.

There are two points to bear in mind. The first thing to bear in mind is that these stories are just that, stories. They are accounts of past events based on memory and imagination and, as psychologists will testify, our hindsight is nothing like 20-20[ii]. Our tendency is to focus on the best of times and the worst of times and overlook the important times in between. We tell the stories that serve our present purpose. Being aware of this is important because the starting point of change is to change our view of experience, to see other possibilities in ourselves and others.

The second thing to bear in mind is that it may not be easy. It may not easy because it could involve a questioning of ourselves, of what we think and why we think it, of how others might see us. We must see, and learn to live with, certain contradictions about ourselves. Not everyone has the capacity to stand outside themselves and reflect on their own limitations. We may not be ready to listen to others telling us what we do not want to hear. How we these things is a repeating theme of this blog. However difficult, it is better to do so because sticking to your present story, denying it, or distracting yourself from it ends usually in disillusionment or worse.

What changing your story is not

Changing your story is not about a makeover, or image management, telling a tale of what you think you ought to be. A true change of story is a substantive one, one where you see more clearly what to leave behind, what to keep, and what new elements of the story to take on board. It will be one in which you can have a tradesman’s pride, one that is well-made and robust. It will be based on a set of ideas and aspirations that you can own because they are your own. It is an account that will give you the self-confidence to face the many challenges of your life. If you are not happy with your story, change it.

[i] See McAdams https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/1745691612464657

[ii] See especially good accounts of limits of the stories we tell ourselves in Daniel Gilberts, Stumbling on Happiness, and Daniel Kahneman’s description of hindsight bias in Thinking Fast and Slow.

CHANGING CONVERSATIONS

Conversations are us

Conversation is a uniquely human activity. It is the means by which make sense of ourselves as individuals or a society. It is central to making change happen in our lives as we constantly seek to rework that identity through conversation with others. In this way, it forms the rhythm of our daily life, how we express our intentions, declare our beliefs, say what we want, negotiate and bargain, make our feelings known. It is how politics is conducted, how commerce is managed or how love stories begin, endure and end. Conversations can be warm or cold, real or phoney, deep or shallow, polite or rude, cheerful or desolate, constructive or confrontational, trivial or serious. Just like us. They are also the primary agent of change in our lives, the means by which hearts and minds are swayed and new ideas emerge and take root. Change is change in conversation. Therefore, understanding the nature of conversation helps us understand how change happens and can be made more productive. Central to that understanding is the realisation that conversation is the locale where both our individuality and interdependence as humans comes to the fore. We each bring something distinctive to the conversation which makes exchange of ideas possible. We each rely on the other to respond to our conversational gestures. How we do that results in a different patterns and outcomes of conversation, conversations that flow or conversations that stall.

Involvement and Awareness- what we bring to the conversation

If conversation is way of making new meaning through exchange of ideas we can see can that can only happen by involvement of more than one participant. So, what we bring to the conversation is a willingness to engage, to turn up with the ideas formed through former conversations with others or with ourselves. We must be willing to share those ideas and engage with people at the appropriate level. This can range from downloading, just taking in what the other is saying through to a kind of active listening where we encourage others to amplify and clarify, extending to the kind of deep heart to heart conversation where we generate new insights or reach new levels of empathy with others.

We also bring a certain awareness of ourselves of our language and of our role in any conversation, a sense of the impact our involvement might make. We are unique in that we can hear or rehearse or own words be conscious of the feelings they provoke in us and anticipate the reaction of others to them – though not always accurately. We know if we engage in certain ways of speaking that we are likely to elicit certain responses e.g. to inject urgency, ‘we really need to get on here’; to direct, ‘what we want do now’; to block ‘ this is irrelevant’; or to convince ‘the latest evidence shows’. We know too that when we speak, we often speak for ourselves and others who share our identity, as a parent, a partner, a manager or leader or other perception of ourselves. We expect a certain response when we speak as this other but again this may not always happen which can make us rethink our identity with that role or give us different sense how we occupy that role. A key aspect of that role is an understanding of the interdependence and hence power difference that exists in any conversation as between, initiator and follower, expert and learner, manager and subordinate, or parent and child. Being aware of this power difference is important, particularly if we are in a leading role, because such awareness will influence our choice of language and gestures in a way that deepen connections and ensure that conversation can flow.

Going with the flow

Change can only emerge in fluid conversation. We are all aware of conversations that flow, that energise us and bring new insights, that bring us closer to others. We are aware of another type of conversation that deplete and divide us, that become stuck, going over the same ground, preaching the same message or leading nowhere. So, the question is what are the conversational practices that lead to these opposite outcomes?

The first thing to bear in mind is that conversation goes beyond some form of linear communication, a series of exchanges between sender and receiver until some common understanding is reached, ‘there is something I want you to understand’ or ‘let me explain myself more clearly’ type of interchange. That resembles more a lecture or sermon than a conversation. The dynamics of a flowing conversation are hinted at in the Latin etymology of the word, con – with … versare – turn, implying an activity that is turn and turn about, a kind of dance where the lead partners alternate. What is created is a fusion of different themes – meanings, ideas, positions, intentions, agendas that each of us bring to the conversation. This is the creative power of conversation.

How conversations get stuck and soon forgotten

Creativity and conversational flow are blocked when conversational themes become repetitive or one theme or position dominates – for example, the ‘how great we are’ kind of conversation or other forms of corporate speak. This repetition can serve a purpose, institutionalising some worthy values or beliefs, consolidating some common vision or identity or relationship between participants in some social grouping. However, the inability to move beyond a single theme, being stuck on a single track, is often caused by some anxiety among participants or by some power imbalance between them. Anxiety manifests itself as an uneasiness or a resistance to engage whose origin is often unclear. So, we get polite exchanges, or withdrawal, an ignoring of the elephant in the room. Gaining consensus takes over from achieving clarity. Let’s agree and go. Power imbalances, where one person or group seeks to dominate, result in submission or rebellion. We clam up or else shout over each other. The outcome of the conversation is imposed rather than co-created and is often forgotten or ignored afterward. The family row comes to mind.

Productive Conversations

Productive conversations on the other hand lead to insights which people are attracted to ideas and often subsequent innovative action. These are conversations in which we seek clarity and attend to others so as to gain a real awareness of others experience rather than some mushy consensus. We surface conflict and resistance in a constructive and open way. We do this through use of ways of speaking that encourage involvement such as open questions – ‘what do people feel about’ ?.. ‘what do we think is stopping us’? We use strong statements that capture what people are experiencing or analogies and metaphors or stories that relate to or elucidate that experience. Our imaginations are stimulated, different possibilities become apparent. New themes emerge from the discussion of existing ones. Inclusiveness, mutual awareness, and honesty are the key features of such conversation.

Leading Conversations

The above insights are particularly important for anybody taking a leading role in a conversation that is intended to initiate change. They should be aware of what they bring, their ideas and beliefs, their story, their choice of language, and of their relative status to others involved. Their objective is not to direct the conversation but to make sure it flows, to widen and deepen communication. They should encourage people to share their anxieties and to surface any conflict in an understanding way. Power differences should be acknowledged and not exploited. Most of all they should be aware of the creative potential of any conversation, the unique possibility of new ideas or themes emerging from a particular group, speaking in a particular context, interacting in a particular way in this present moment. Change is the change in conversation as it happens.

Site Content and Submissions

Our aim is to provide stimulating and practical material that is succinct and can be easily shared – to make accessible the complex ideas around facing into change. We welcome submissions but given our voluntary status are unable to offer payment. Publishing is at the discretion of the site editor.

If you would like to use this platform, please email us your written piece or a short pitch on what you want to achieve in your contribution. Our preference is for pieces that are clear and concise -around 800-1000 words- and original, reflecting the writer’s own perceptions or experience. It is not a forum for academic discussion but articles that provide an insightful and readable commentary on the applications of current research to change processes could be of interest. Exceptional stories responding to the themes set out or that talk about the learnings from emergent change in individuals, organisations or communities, are especially welcome.

For many problems, there is a simple solution and it’s right!

I would not give a fig for the simplicity this side of complexity, but I would give my life for the simplicity on the other side of complexity.” Oliver Wendel Holmes Jr

Sometimes we seem to go out of our way to make things complicated and difficult to do, to put needless obstacles in our way. It is a form of self- sabotage and resistance to change that we should be aware of. How often do we respond to some suggested course of action with a strident ‘It’s not that simple!’ The more literary of us enlist the support of George Bernard Shaw by quoting his dictum: ‘There is a simple solution to every complex problem, and it is wrong’. Of course, that is sometimes the case, but often this narrative just serves as an excuse for inaction or carrying on as before. To uncover this type of resistance it helps to explore what is genuinely complex and what is not, and how our response should be measured accordingly.

What complexity is not

The first thing to avoid is equating complexity with difficulty. Stopping smoking, changing our sleep or eating habits, or introducing some new work practice in an organisation may be hard tasks to face into but, unless there are exceptional circumstances, are not complex. The nature and solution to the problem are well known and constant. There is plenty of evidence from past experience to draw on. We know what we are facing, we know the desired outcome. We are reliant mostly on our own efforts to achieve the task. We just need to get on with it.

Nor is complicated the same as complex. Some problems do require expert analysis or advice before we decide on a course of action – choosing a technology, making a policy decision. There may be more than one solution to the issue at stake, but we can usually weigh the pro’s and con’s and proceed. We may also have to involve others in the process, but with a clear purpose in mind. Usually there is a short time interval to find out if we are on the right track and to change course if needs be.

Complexity is

Genuinely complex situations or problems tick few of the above boxes. There are usually a large number of interacting players or interests involved. Interventions are not predictable, small changes can produce unforeseen and often major consequences. The situation is usually in a state of flux, solutions cannot be imposed but are more likely to emerge from whatever interactions are going on at a particular time. There may be a history to the issue, but its complexity means that we cannot rely on past learning because it is in a state of constant change where ‘the goalposts are constantly shifting’ to use the colloquialism. There is no set of rules, expert strategy, or existing mental model that we can fully rely on. We make the rules as we proceed and create new meanings about what is happening. Many of the social and organisational challenges we face today are complex in nature and require a collective and creative approach to resolve them. We will talk a lot in future postings on this blog on how these processes work in practice.

Separating the simple from the complex

But separating the simple from the complex is important because we really need to devote our creative energy and efforts to solving those genuinely complex issues in our lives and communities and face up to the tasks whose solutions are known or knowable, even if not easy. We know what we do instead, go online, again, get that book on the topic, do a course, engage a consultancy firm, form a committee, lobby politicians and so on. Anything that will push making decision or acting further down the road. Whole industries of consultants, quick fix manufacturers, self- help writers and, dare I say it, bloggers exist out there who advise on these issues and give us answers that we probably already know. Of course, there are times when resort to such strategies is helpful but if we are honest, we know that they are often the tools of procrastination.

Back to basics

So, making things artificially complex is a waste of time and effort, looking for an easy answer and deflecting you from the hard decisions that must be made. How do we avoid going down this cul-de-sac? The first is by realistically assessing the complexity of the situation we face using the criteria described above. Tools like the Cynefin Framework[1] can help us identify the type decision making process required in an organisational or societal setting. But asking some searching questions can also help filter out artificial complexity. For example, who is making this issue seem complex and why? Is it because they have a solution to sell? By adding complexity, do we really believe we are adding value or utility to some idea or just making it sound good? The kitchen gadget that performs forty-five tasks but none of them well is a useful analogy to bear in mind. Sometimes the process of adding layers of complexity enables us to see the utility of our original idea, to get back to basics.

Or have we solved this issue before? If so, what is stopping us now? Have we failed before and are using complexity as an excuse for our failure? Finally, how much control do we have over outcomes in this situation? If we can predict with a high degree of certainty, then we are not dealing with complexity. And if that is the case we may have to rely on old fashioned self-discipline and effort to resolve them. Dealing with more emergent and complex change requires a different model or approach which we deal with elsewhere in this blog. We should save our energy, or give our lives as the opening quotation suggests, for that task and not waste time by making things more difficult than they really are.

[1] See Snowden and Boone A Leader’s Framework for Decision Making.

The best way to deal with resistance?

Facing into change means first facing into our resistance to change. Paradoxically by embracing or joining the source of the resistance we can see more clearly what changes we need to make and why.

How resistance serves us

In a turbulent world there is a lot to be said for stability, for maintaining our course, for keeping to the tried and trusted values that have got us safely this far. Resistance to change is inbuilt in all of us and in many of the social systems we create, and it serves a purpose. If it were absent, the constant impulses to change would lead to frantic stress and disorder in our lives. The most obvious benefit is that it causes us to pause before embarking on some course of action that could cause harm to ourselves or others. It brings to mind the things we want to keep or are reluctant to let go of. It helps us manage the anxiety around change, insulating us from the fear of unknown consequences, keeping us in our comfort zone. We do that by seeing the change or life challenge through the lens of our existing mental models, the old reliable way of thinking and feeling about issues which have guided us in the past. In this way we hope to maintain continuity and stability, making only those adjustments that are necessary to survive.

Or gets in our way

But resistance can also get in our way. Resistance can cause us to act in a way that prevents improvement or allows dysfunction to persist in ourselves or where we work or live. It can stop us making the changes we really want. We are all familiar with the annual new year resolution, the issues that come up time and again in performance reviews, the despair around the willingness towards change by of some people in our lives. Somehow, we do not seem to be able to reconcile our desire to change with our capacity to do so, to really understand the tension between these two states. Controlling our anxiety around change can go wrong from either being overwhelmed by those inner voices of fear or judgment or recklessly ignoring them. To allay this anxiety, we often resort to defence mechanisms that result in self- exonerating narratives of what is happening and /or behaviours which may be directly contrary to the change we want to make. We actually get in our own way.

Dealing with resistance

This can be healthy, provided we recognise what is happening and try to get to the source of our resistance. Some of the more common resistive behaviour patterns we engage in and why we do so are summarised in the table below. The crucial point is not to be self-critical about these behaviours but to be open and honest about them and to question their validity. How do they serve me? How do they limit me? Kegan and Lahey [i]in their seminal text on this topic, Immunity to Change, suggest that these behaviours are symptomatic of a ‘hidden commitment’ to some deep rooted values or beliefs within us. We don’t make that change because we really don’t want to, or more precisely we want to make another change or to change in some other way. By engaging with our resistances to change we can reveal those concealed commitments and the assumptions that underpin them. Joining the resistance in this way brings us invaluable insights into how to reframe the changes we have to make, to question our motivations and to come up with more creative ways of making them happen.

How we get in our own way… common resistive behaviours.

Unquestioning adherence to existing values, self-image or beliefs, often learned as part of our upbringing. We use words and phrases, like ‘I’d never… or I should or I must.. or ‘That’s just way it is’. This fixed view of the world may not accord with reality. While it is good to have values, beliefs or certain models to guide us in life they can prevent us from embracing novelty if we stick to them too rigidly.

Seeing things through on our own experience or life view rather than reality – filling the gaps or making assumptions without asking questions. We use phrases like; I would if only they…/ What’s the point…/ They’d never let me /That could never happen.. Again, this can be occasionally useful in projecting some possible future or seeing some hidden hazards but often it is a way of avoiding our own role in some new change situation or avoiding painful decisions

Ignoring or turning away from what is happening in order to prevent full awareness and the need for change. Typical behaviours include shifting the topic of conversation, laughing things off, talking in generalities or abstractions rather than about the specific situation, talking about the past rather than the present or fantasising. Sometimes this can buy us time, help slow the pace of change or get used to a new and possibly painful situation. Of course, it prevents the first stage of facing into change, by avoiding real contact with people and the present.

Going with the flow. Joining in with what others are doing, even though it may not serve our needs. Avoiding conflict at all costs, not wanting to hurt other’s feelings. It can maintain harmony but sometimes can lead to loss of identity or restrict our personal growth.

So, for example, we may have a desire to be more present with others, to focus more on being rather than doing, not jumping in with solutions. This can be undermined by a fear of being seen as weak or dispensable, that things might spiral out of control and we would be blamed for it. In practice, we persist with behaviours such as immediately looking for the solution when a problem is presented, directing the conversation towards our perspective or tuning out of conversations once we have reached a conclusion. We convince ourselves that the urgency of the situation required this, or the lack of expertise in the room, or that this was a situation which we had dealt with before and knew exactly what had to be done.

Surfacing our resistant behaviours like this calls for a mental aptitude that takes time to acquire, the capacity to both value and question our present principles, to be both fully immersed in but also reflective of any situation, to attune to, rather than feel the need to resolve, the dilemmas or questions involved in making change. We need to be able to recognise that this state of internal tension does not oblige us to sacrifice our principles or our identity as individuals or a community. What it does do is bring to the surface the true nature of the polarities or dilemmas that we are facing and the decisions to be made. In summary, it is healthy if we see resistance for what it is and recognise how it influences our behaviour, how and why we prevent change happening.. Blindly following our resistive instincts leads to stagnation. Embracing resistance leads to personal growth.

[i] Kegan, Robert, and Lisa Laskow Lahey. Immunity to Change: How to Overcome It and Unlock Potential in Yourself and Your Organization. Leadership for the Common Good. Boston, Mass: Harvard Business Press, 2009.

Change starts here, with you.

You cannot go back and change the beginning, but you can start where you are and change the ending.
C. S Lewis (1898 – 1963) Belfast writer and lay theologian.

Change as a process

Change comes to us in many ways. There are the changes imposed by the of life or systems we inhabit that pass through a certain life cycle or pattern of evolution, aging, maturation, obsolescence, adaptation are the common expressions we use to describe it. Other changes we try to construct ourselves seeking to become the person or community we feel we ought to be. Many of us spend time imagining what that desired state should be or devising a step by step strategy to achieve it. The titles of many self- help books are illustrative of this approach to change. Corporate strategy texts can follow a similar formula.

In reality, facing into the changes of our time is less often a deliberate process and more an emergent one. The roots of the challenges we face are complex and not always fully understood. Problems may not fit into any category previously encountered and solutions comprise multiple emergent options. We may not be able to learn from the past and there is no endpoint where we can say the issue is resolved. Instead our task is to continuously engage with what actually is in a way that allows us to see emergent possibilities and make them happen if possible.

In this scenario the process of facing into change is as important any envisaged outcome. Emergent change may be unpredictable, but that does not mean it is random or haphazard. As we will see throughout this blog it very muct depends on the type of interactions that give rise to it. We will see ourselves in the outcomes, even if we cannot explain the causality. There are a number of theories on how emergent change occurs but three themes recur. They are that creative change requires firstly a heightened consciousness of what is now happening in any system before it can be reimagined. Secondly the clarity with which we can see and sense what is happening is dependent on the quality of dialogue between members of the system, or put simply, how we converse. Thirdly, that type of creative dialogue can only occur when each of us realises that we are the system, that when we talk about changing the system, we are talking about changing ourselves.

Recognizing yourself in that process

The phrase ‘be the change you want to see in the world’ comes to mind. The words are often misattributed to Mahatma Ghandi. In fact, what he did say on the subject is more profound.

We but mirror the world. All the tendencies present in the outer world are to be found in the world of our body. If we could change ourselves, the tendencies of the world would also change. As a man changes his own nature, so does the attitude of the world towards him. This is the divine mystery supreme. A wonderful thing it is and the source of our happiness. We need not wait to see what others do.

Mahatma Ghandi.

It is a very eloquent description of how we shape and are shaped by the world we inhabit. That the world emerging around us mirrors what is emerging from within us. It also points to the starting point of change. To change our own nature, we (woman or man) must go into that inner world, to turn around that mirror, and become aware of the condition of our own heart and mind. By really listening to ourselves so that we can listen to others, by starting to notice what until now we have failed to notice, by questioning what we think and more importantly how we think. Do we have thoughts or do our thoughts have us? Do we let others do our thinking for us?

Until we enter that space, I think we can see that real change-making dialogue is not possible. We are more likely to engage in a polite conversation where we go with the flow and accept whatever the dominant view of our present situation is. Or we resort to endless circular debate where we wear our views like a favourite coat reluctant to part with it because to do so would mean shedding part of our identity. Often, it is frustration with being stuck in these ways that initiate the process of facing into change. The fact is that being fully immersed in the experience of our present lives is more likely to lead to innovative change than some form of coercion imposed by ourselves or by others. Our first objective then is to strengthen our capacity to see, feel, and act on that experience, to strengthen ourselves. Facing into change starts here, with us.

Facing into change… why, why not, and how.

When we face into change

There are times in our lives when, individually or as a community, we feel the need to be more intentional about change, to search for a better future, to discover what is possible, and act on those discoveries rather than waiting passively for something to happen, or accepting our lot. This inclination to face into change can surface in a number of ways. It can come from a sense that we have reached some transition or pivot point, where what went before can no longer apply. We may see no definite pattern to the future, entering or leaving the world of work being a common example. It can arise from a feeling of unease or even of personal crisis where we seriously question what we are now doing or our present way of thinking and look for an alternative direction. Hopefully, we are now seeing the beginning of the end of the Covid crisis as vaccines are rolled out. But when it does subside, we will have new social challenges to confront along with those we already are struggling to contend with. Courageous thinking will be needed, to reframe these problems and take the radical actions needed. A shared understanding of what is involved in facing into such change will be crucial.

What is involved

The phrase facing into change has three main connotations. The first, as outlined above is its intentionality, facing into change is self-initiated, not imposed change. It is not about what we ought to be but about striving towards a future that we want even if that is not fully clear to us. This is its second feature, its uncertainty and emergent nature. Facing into change is about embarking on a course of thought and action with an unpredictable outcome but one we feel is worth pursuing. It is worth pursuing because even if we cannot foretell our future, we believe that we can and should change what is possible in that future. It is an optimistic stance entered into with the expectation that there is an alternative state out there, or within us, that is better than what we live with at present. Because it does not begin with some defined endpoint in mind, because we start our journey somewhat blind, we expect that change will be an emergent process where new possibilities will surface to which we can respond. How we respond relates to the third aspect of facing into change, the chance that there will be a struggle involved or resistance to be encountered arising from that tension between our desire for something different and our innate inertia to stay the same. It is important to understand those sources of resistance, how they can impede us but also can serve us in reaching a point where the changes we actually need to make become more apparent. Resolving such tensions helps us make choices, as we face into change, about we want to hold on to, what we feel must let go of, and what new things we need to let come into our lives or communities

Transformers – thinking and conversation.

It may seem that the type of change we are talking about is a haphazard affair, but as we shall find out it in this blog is not random but very much influenced by how we engage with it, how we think about change, and how we interact with others, the kind of conversations we have about change. Facing into change starts with a new awareness of our present situation and a realisation that a different way of thinking may be required. We begin to see that the resistance within us may be in the present image or status we want to maintain, in our rigid ways of thinking, the power that we want to hold on to, or our reluctance to open up to others. Through conversations, we begin to see the transformative effect of facing into change, on our way of thinking about ourselves. We may use stories or metaphors to explain our existing way of doing things, and how it might change in the future. Going with the flow or sticking to what we know is unlikely to work. Somehow, we need to get in touch with new ways of thinking and feeling about our situation, to arrive at the point where we are emotionally committed to trying new things. We realise that it will be an ongoing learning process, where we find out more about ourselves and what is possible rather than reaching an endpoint. Facing into change is a continuous process where we are ready forever begin to quote Brendan Keneally.